How To Deal With Your Kid's Inappropriate Behavior

Kids and tantrums are two of the things that are inseparable and every parent knows that, myself included. It's our responsibility as parents to tame them during these times and believe me, dealing with a kid that is throwing a tantrum is no piece of cake. It will eat up every ounce of patience you got. It will definitely test your tolerance.


So how do you deal with your kid's inappropriate behavior?


IGNORE. Yes, it is best when you ignore your kid. If your kid is wailing somewhere then act like you don't hear anything. Never yell at him/her. Do not even talk to him/her nor look at him/her. When your kid sees that he/she is getting your attention by screaming out loud, the more he/she will scream. On the contrary, if your kid finds out that he/she is not getting your attention by doing so, he/she is more likely to stop. Your kid must realize that he/she is not getting what he/she wanted by screaming out. Your kid must realize that you are not affected by his/her action. Take note, your kid's tantrums may last for as long as 30 minutes or more so you must be prepared. Ignore him/her the entire time. And when he/she stops throwing that tantrum, praise him/her. You may say something like, "I'm so glad you stopped screaming. You are more adorable when you don't scream, you know." 


WALK AWAY. There are times when your kid's tantrums seems to last forever. When your kid pushes you to the breaking point, either of these will happen --- you gave in to his/her request or you ended up hitting him/her. None of these is right. It is never right to hit our kids but it is also not advisable that we gave in to their requests just to stop them from throwing tantrums. Chances are, he/she will have the impression that by merely shouting, he/she is to get everything he/she wants. The best thing to do? Walk away from your kid. Give yourself, as well as your kid, the chance to calm down. Let things cool down a bit. 


DISTRACT. "Distraction technique" is one effective way in diverting a kid's attention. Like for instance, if your kids are fighting, you may invite them both to help you with something. Or maybe you tell them to watch a movie together. Or if your kid is playing with something pointed, do not just tell him/her to put it down, give him/her something else to play with. By distracting them, you are diverting their attention from doing something inappropriate. 


SUBSTITUTE. When your kid is doing something inappropriate, do the "substitution technique". Like for example, telling your kid to stop drawing on your wall with crayons seldom works. What you can do is to give him/her something else to draw on. Hand him/her a coloring book. By giving him/her a coloring book, you are diverting his/her attention from the wall without depriving him/her of what he/she wanted to do at that moment. 


CRITICIZE IN A POSITIVE WAY. Nobody likes criticism, even kids. Criticisms hurt. Criticisms cause kids to get angry and to act in an appropriate way. So how do you criticize your kids in such a way that he/she will not take it against you? Do it in a positive and gentle way. If your kid kept throwing ball around your living room, do not merely tell him/her to stop. You may say things like, "You are great with balls. I think you'll be a good basketball player when you grow up. But balls are not supposed to be played inside the living room. It should be played outside. Will you stop playing with that ball while you're in here?" 


GIVE CHOICES. Why do you think kids always reject your every idea? Why do think they seldom follow your every instruction? The answer is simple, they are seeking independence. They wanted to feel like they're on their own. So never tell your kids to do this and that. They are likely to oppose. The trick is you give them choices. How? Simple. If you want your kid to eat potatoes, you ask him/her. "What do you want for dinner? Sour Cream Mashed Potatoes or Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes?"  Or perhaps you wanted your kid to attend church with you then you ask him/her, "What time are we going to go to church? Early in the morning or later in the afternoon?" Your kid must feel that he/she is deciding on his/her own. That's the best way of having him/her do what you wanted him/her to do without giving him/her the feeling that you are bossing him/her around.


BE HUMOROUS. Let's admit it. Now that our thoughts are drowned by the constant hustle and bustle of life, we forgot how to laugh and even how to smile. We no longer know how to put humor back in our lives. Humor is very good, it can loosen up tensed situation. Do not be afraid to put a little humor in your relationship with your kids. Act a little silly sometimes, play with your kids, laugh with them. Being funny and creative helps a lot, too, in having your kid do something you like him/her to do. Like for instance, if your kid refuses to go to bed because he/she likes to play with his/her toys still, tell him/her that his/her toys are already soooo tired and that they are dying to hit the bed. Try to invent stories and do it in a humorous way. Be creative. Be funny. And be convincing. 


YOU'RE A MODEL SO ACT LIKE ONE. Sometimes, we forgot the fact that our kids are looking up to us. Yes, we are the very first person that they are likely to imitate. Therefore, if you wanted your kids to act appropriately then do so. Practice what you preach. Be a good role model to your kids, that's the best parenting technique you can ever do. 


Parenting is never easy and there's no perfect parenting technique. But with a little patience and lots of love, you will do just fine. Just follow what your heart tells you and you can never go wrong. Remember, God gave you mother's instinct so you use it. 


Happy parenting! :)

Someday (When The Kids Are Grown)

Someday when the kids are grown, things are going to be a lot different. The garage won't be full of bikes, electric train tracks on plywood, sawhorses surrounded by chucks of two-by-fours, nails, a hammer and saw, unfinished "experimental projects," and the rabbit cage. I'll be able to park both cars neatly in just the right places, and never again stumble over skateboards, a pile of papers (saved for the school fund drive), or the bag of rabbit food --- now split and spilled.


Someday when the kids are grown, the kitchen will be incredibly neat. The sink will be free of sticky dishes, the garbage disposal won't get choked on rubber bands or paper cups, the refrigerator won't be clogged with nine bottles of milk, and we won't lose the tops to  jelly jars, catsup bottles, the peanut butter, the margarine or the mustard. The water jar won't be put back empty, the ice trays won't be left out overnight, the blender won't stand for six hours coated with the remains of a midnight malt, and the honey will stay inside the container.


Someday when the kids are grown, my lovely wife will actually have time to get dressed leisurely. A long, hot bath (without three panic interruptions), time to do her nails (even toenails if she pleases!) without answering a dozen questions and reviewing spelling words, having had her hair done that afternoon without trying to squeeze it in between racing a sick dog to the  vet and a trip to the orthodontist with a kid in a bad mood because she lost her headgear.


Someday when the kids are grown, the instrument called a "telephone" will actually be available. It won't look like it's growing from a teenager's ear. It will simply be free of lipstick, human saliva, mayonnaise, corn chip crumbs, and toothpicks stuck in those little holes.


Someday when the kids are grown, I'll be able to see through the car windows. Fingerprints, tongue licks, sneaker footprints and dog tracks (nobody knows how) will be conspicuous by their absence. The back seat won't be a disaster area, we won't sit on jacks or crayons anymore, the tank will not always be somewhere between empty and fumes, and (glory to God!) I won't have to clean up dog messes another time.


Someday when the kids are grown, we will return to normal conversations. You know, just plain American talk. "Gross" won't punctuate every sentence seven times. "Yuk!" will not be heard. "Hurry up, I gotta go!" will not accompany the banging of fists on the bathroom door. "It's my turn" won't call for a referee. And a magazine article will be read in full without interruption, then discussed at length without Mom and Dad having to hide in the attic to finish the conversation.


Someday when the kids are grown, we won't run out of toilet tissue. My wife won't lose her keys. We won't forget to shut the refrigerator door. I won't have to dream up new ways of diverting attention from the gumball machine... or have to answer "Daddy, is it a sin that you're driving 47 in a 30-mile-per-hour zone?"... or promise to kiss the rabbit good night... or wait up forever until they get home from dates... or have to take a number to get a word in the supper table... or endure the pious pounding of one Keith Green just below the level of acute pain.


Yes, someday when the kids are grown, things are going to be a lot different. One by one they'll leave our nest, and the place will begin to resemble order and maybe even a touch of elegance. The clink of china and silver will be heard on occasion. The crackling of the fireplace will echo through the  hallway. The phone will be strangely silent. The house will be quiet... and calm... and always clean... and empty... and we'll spend our time not looking forward to Someday but looking back to Yesterday. And thinking, "Maybe we can babysit the grandkids and get some life back in this place for a change!"

Charles R. Swindoll

This is one of my most favorite poems (or is this really a poem?) on parenting. As a mother of three adorable boys who happen to have their Dennis-the-Menace sides, parenting has never been easy! But no, I am not really looking forward to "Someday". I wanted to enjoy my kids as much as I could. I wanted to make every second count. They won't be kids forever. 

Quotes on Parenting (I)

Making the decision to have a child --- it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

Elizabeth Stone

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

I saw this poem on one of my old books and I thought this is worth posting. This is to inspire mothers like me. Yes, every little thing we do for our kids are appreciated... even if it seems like nobody sees them and nobody cares. 

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I wanted to paint another one.


When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.


When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake just for me, and I knew that little things are special things.


When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I believe there is God I could always talk to.


When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me good night, and I felt loved.


When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.


When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.


When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked... and wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.

Author Unknown

Can't you just show him, Mom?

My two-year-old son, almost three, was asking me if I have a penis. I felt the urge to use the bird and flower tingie to explain things to him but I thought this is the new era and we should try to teach sex education to our children in the most professional way. And so I said, "No, I don't have a penis. I'm a girl so I have a vagina."


"No, you have a penis!"  my son insisted.


"No," I argued. "You and Kuya and baby are all boys so you have penises. Daddy is a boy so he has a penis, too. But Mommy is not a boy. Mommy doesn't have a penis. Mommy is a girl so Mommy have vagina, instead."


"No! You have a penis!" he insisted still.





My four-year-old son, almost five, was listening all along. Seemed pissed off by his younger brother's constant insisting, he butted in. "Can't you just show him, Mom?"

Overdosed!

Last Monday I did something stupid --- I incidentally overdosed myself. So stupid of me, yeah.


I was having fever at that time due to a urinary tract infection. I didn't go to the doctor, I just knew it was UTI based on experience. I had suffered the same symptoms twice before so I'm kind of familiar with it already. And both of the past incidents, I did not drink any doctor-prescribed medicine. I did not drink any pharmacy-bought medicine at all. I relied on my mother's magic "nilagang dahon ng Sambong." 


Oh, yes. My mother was born and raised during the "laga-laga" and "tapal-tapal" era so there was really no surprise if she always tries to heal us first with all those medicinal herbal plants before she would resort to bringing us to the doctor. So there, twice before, when I suffered from UTI, all she did is to boil some leaves of Sambong (Blumea balsamifera) and have me (or rather, force me) to drink the juice. And yes, it worked! Twice of the time, it did. I got healed.


But this time was different. No, I am not drinking that sambong juice anymore, I thought. It's effective, alright. But gawd, can you just imagine the taste of a mug of boiled Sambong juice? I'm telling you, it taste so bad! As  in! I really have to fight from throwing up every time I try to drink up a mug of "nilagang Sambong". The agony!


And so what I did is I sent hubby to the nearest pharmacy to buy me some over-the-counter relief for UTI --- Sambong in tablet form! Oh, yeah. The benefit of Sambong without having to endure it's ill taste. Just great!


It's my first time to take such med so I took some time reading the labels. Recommended dosage: 2 tablets 3 times a day!


Two 500mg tablets? I got hesitant. But well, this is still Sambong. It's herbal. It's safe. I won't get overdosed.


Or so I thought. Because yes, you guessed it right. I was overdosed! Minutes after taking two 500mg tablets, I was chilling non-stop. And I have no fever at that time. I was okay before I drank the med. 


It was really scary. I can feel all my muscles chilling from within. I couldn't stop them. And it was so damn cold! That's probably how it feels when you're on snow. So freakin' cold! My teeth won't even stop clashing against each other. And I got dizzy. My hubby was even shocked to see how pale I become. I was really so close to fainting. That was one scary experience!


I was almost brought to the hospital. My mother came to the rescue and they all gave me first aid. Right after I vomited, the chilling stops. So does the dizziness. I wasn't feeling so cold anymore. I felt a little better.


I visited the doctor the day after. She had me undergo urinalysis and prescribed me some medication. I am still under medication right now but thanks to God, I feel a whole lot better now.




Lessons learned: 


One. Mother's mug of "nilgang Sambong" is far safer than any Sambong tablet. No matter how ill-tasting it is. Lol.


Second. Those herbal tablets aren't that safe at all, no matter how natural they claimed they are.


Third. Always consult a doctor before you take a med! It never feels good to get overdosed! And it was never safe!


Fourth. A cup of water is always better than a cold bottle of coke. I hate to admit that fact! :(

Boys, boys, I love boys!

I am a mom of three. Three boys, actually. Yeah, my kids are all boys. You can only imagine how chaotic the house is. You know how kids can get, especially boys. They siiiiiiiimply love running around and kicking each other and throwing balls and screaming loud and tumbling over... And the toys are everywhere in the house! Like, you've cleaned up their mess one second then another second, it was all over the place again. Oh, boys!


But hey, my boys may have been giving me a hard time most often than not but I still adore them oh-so dearly. They are simply the love of my life --- all the four of them (my hubby included, LOL). Like, when I'm working and they kept on running in and out of the room, screaming at the top of their lungs, I can't help but shout at them but when they're not home, I simply miss them. The house just feels so quiet and so empty without them. :)

Today, I'm gonna start blogging!

Today is the starting point of my blogging career. This is something that I've been dreaming to do ever since. I should have done this eons of years ago if not because of two things --- the lack of time and the lack of courage.


But what the heck! I'm gonna start blogging today and I'm gonna love it the very same way that you are going to looooooooove everything here.


So hold back, relax and enjoy the ride!


Blogger Mom is on the move! :)